SUPPLY DIVISION

DEEZ™ · the joke pays its own server bill

Deez is free, has no ads, no tracking and no accounts, and stays that way. The shop and the tip jar exist so the joke can pay its own server bill — and £1 from every order goes to men's-health and breast-cancer awareness charities (independently; receipts posted here). Hands can check you. Phones cannot. Do the monthly one — the serious links are below.

🧥 COMMEMORATIVE GARMENTS

Certified incident apparel: CERTIFIED DEEZ, GOTTEM., the full telemetry report, Founding Member. Every unit inspected. No unit approved.

ENTER THE SHOP →

THE CHARITY LINE. £1 from every order is donated to men's-health and breast-cancer awareness charities in the UK. This is a general commitment, not made on behalf of any named charity: no charity is affiliated with Deez or has endorsed any of this, ever. We pick recipients each quarter, donate independently, and post the receipts on this page. The tee is a joke. The cause is not.

🪙 FUND THE MACHINE

The scanner is free. It will always be free. It runs on spite and a small server bill. Contribute to either. — the machine

TIP JAR: UNDER CALIBRATION…

❤️ SKIP US ENTIRELY

Give directly to a men's-health or breast-cancer charity of your choice — 100% goes to them, none of it touches us. (Not affiliated with, or endorsed by, any of these. They just do the real thing.)

MOVEMBER → COPPAFEEL! →

🩺 THE SERIOUS BIT

No phone can scan for cancer — but your hands can. Once a month, know your normal; if something changes, gets a lump, or aches oddly — GP, no shame.

NHS: how to check (the boys) →
NHS: how to check (the girls) →

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DEEZ™ · NOTHING UPLOADED · NOTHING TRACKED · RECEIPTS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN